Living in Faith’s Shadow

I said, “If they don’t know abc, how am I going to teach them algebra? If they don’t know kindergarten, don’t know how to behave themselves, don’t know how to look, and act, and dress, and be decent, how you going to teach them prophetic things?”  61-1224 – Sirs, We Would See Jesus

William Marrion Branham

Have you ever been afraid to go to the bathroom during a class? You convince yourself that the teacher will be bothered by your request. Someone will think you have to go all the time. You’ll be a disturbance. On and on. But now you’re not getting anything from the lesson because you’re completely distracted. If you had simply asked, and gone, it would be over you would be focused and learning again, but now the imagined peer pressure and fear is keeping you from peace and learning. It seems funny, but how many of us have used the same exact thing to talk ourselves of asking for understanding with church and our spiritual walk.

There are those that teach in a way to encourage us to ask questions. When a teacher is so well versed not only in the subject but also in all the ways they at one time didn’t understand the material, it makes for an amazing source for us to come to and learn from. There are also those teachers that write it out on the board exactly as it was explained to them and make eye contact with us and tell us now if you can’t understand something as simple as this the first time, you’re in the wrong class. No one would dare raise their hand and ask for clarification at that point.

Whether it was about the workings of automobiles or the scripture I loved having people to go to and open up to and learn from. So when I took on the youth ministry and faced a classroom of almost 20 teenagers full of questions, I knew I needed to know my stuff better than ever. So that if I ever didn’t have the answer I would know where to point them so we could learn it together. I dug through my Bible, my study books, my translations, every discourse I could find. I wanted to know more about God’s word, and I wanted to teach them everything I could.

Almost immediately I ran into walls, things I wasn’t supposed to question, or things that was just how it was supposed to be. The amount of times that despite my questions they would angrily point back to the chalk board and say I should already understand. I had questions but was told to place it on the shelf and pray about it, or even that the elect would know since it was spoken to them. Here I was as a youth pastor quickly becoming afraid to ask about things I didn’t know lest someone think me unsaved. I began feeling not only insecure in my own salvation, but I was worried about my ability to teach those in my class.

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